Young Writers Society

I loved it !
Write more SOON !!!!
(sarcasm)

it reads as though you just pounded the key board then added a few word. Half of it i couldn't understand because it was misspelled or you were using some kind of slang only local to your area.
I'm sorry I just have to ask if you ever thought the, whatever that was, over before you posted it.
In case you didn't know it already there is a spell checker you can use to make sure what you right at least has good spelling. But it's up to you to fix the grammar.

GAH!
As said before, no-one (or only the strong-willed) will read this thoroughly. There's way too much Netspeak! And it's all down to the format of your posts, meaning novels and such, that determines whether the reader wants to actually read it. No, offense, by just looking at it I knew there was no point.
You have put in complete simplicity, and have then removed it by adding incomplete words and slang that is not permitted on this website! (I am so grateful I found YWS- it is one of the best websites ever: getting people to show their potential). *and breath*

So, you know, brush up a bit on your grammar. When you see some errors in a piece, before your post, don't just think " Hey, I can leave it. The critiques will let it be". Consider how deliberately putting slang and such will have on your reputation -as a member of YWS (beginning to sound like stuck record here, no?)
We here are dedicated! DEDICATED!!!!

Woah! Watch the explanation points wisemann210.

what?! edit edit edit edit, way too much slang and chit chat!

[edited by Adam_Atlantian to restore the shape of the forum.]

Wow...... well, the others already said what was needed to be said. I shall not repeat. This was terrible. You must really like chat room and/or text talk. It's in your writing and in your user name! I think you should use spell check and put this piece in "Randomness". Just my thoughs. Best wishes. Peace

I'm sorry. I attempted to read it but just couldn't.
Please please please edit it and NO CHAT SPEAK.


Then a I shall review it.

What on earth? And I'd like to say more than the rules confine me to, believe me. A lot of pretty words one doesn't find in children's books.

Anyway...

This has absolutely no freakin' composition. And the grammar is HORRIBLE. Absolutely despicable. I'm almost doubting you meant to post this. Maybe a small rodent got on the keyboard and typed it for you.

Look, normally I'd be nicer, but come on! This is not a story! This is not a non-fiction piece! This is not anything that deserves to be posted as something to be read and critiqued on a writers site! Honestly!

And two words... Spell. Check. With so many horrible typos, it's obvious you meant to put them in, but there are probably a few you didn't mean either.

Punctuation is needed. There are about four sentences when there should be twenty, and you have horrible punctuation placement even when we forget about sentences. Read some books. See what it looks like? Believe it or not, that's what your piece is supposed to look like. I know, odd isn't it?

Edit: And... to add to the incredibly long list of offenses... You ignored the rules. You ignored what the rules you are supposed to read on joining blatantly said, and posted a piece before you had reviewed two things. You still need to review two things. And no. That "review" you did on those pictures that goes like so: "hey i love the whole natural affect i mean the grass it looks very greenish and that complements alot can u plez review my story its summer 08 thanks =]" does not count as a review.

It does not count in the slightest.

And your review counter under your name agrees, see? Still zero. Also, unless you have put an incredible amount of work into a review, and/or you know the person, you do NOT advertise your own piece! I almost laughed aloud! You post this ridiculous placating quickie piece of crap and end it with a long thing about how the poster should review your story that's nearly half the size of the review you submitted!

Epic fail.

Umm...okay.